Tuesday, August 14, 2007

fear itself?

When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
-- Audre Lorde, 1934-1992

This quote from Audre Lorde is my email signature. It is also the first words at the top of my blog.

Tonight, I am breathless with fear. I am on the edge of completing a documentary audio piece that I've been working on (with a rather large gap in the middle) for over a year. I'm working with literally one of the best (if not the best) editors in public radio. In addition to this smaller project about one of my close friends Pam -- who moved up to NC after Hurricane Katrina -- D. has agreed to be an editor on "Bipolar Girl Rules the World." So it would be really good for me to talk with her about that project too.

I am a genius at helping others step over that bump of fear. And so tonight I managed to help myself step over mine. I called a friend and shared my fears. I got told that I'm a goof ball and to get over myself. I then took small steps to make sure that all of my tape was transferred to my new computer and that all the files were present. It's now 9:20 and I've printed up my 14 pages of transcripts that I did last summer. I may go home and listen to some stuff or I may just go to bed.

Stay tuned. Will Dawn continue taking small steps and move forward on the creative work she now has an opportunity to complete? Or will she derail herself in some spectacular way? Will she literally die of fright? Or will she decide that, as Audre Lorde says, that believing in one's vision actually results in being less afraid?


Anonymous said...

Like I have a right to give advice on fear...., oh well.
1. Feel the fear and do it anyway (a book title?)
2. I'm not sure that fear can be lessened prior to doing. It is, I think only the doing that reduces (or banishes) the fear.
3. Fear is a bubble that can surround you. You (I, we) only need to walk (briskly) toward it to pierce it and go through. The bubble doesn't burst, it closes behind you and pretty much stays behind if you keep walking.
Segue into one of my favorite sayings:
4. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. (Will Rogers?)
Oh my gosh, enough already.

Anonymous said...

Previous comments remind me of:
As you climb the ladder,
Be sure it is against the right wall.

I think there is a link there...

I know you finished it for Saturday
....and it was good.


Dawn said...

I love you guys.