it's just been that kind of day.
or pieces of several days broken up by ok moments.
i'm in a kind of numbed out daze and i'm not exactly wild with coping mechanisms at the moment.
i have work to do that i'm not doing. i have something to turn in tomorrow that i have GOT to review before mid-morning. it's now 11:07 P.M. and if my summer house-mate hadn't let out my dog, I'd also be a terrible dog owner.
i am almost three-weeks overdue on an email i promised to send.
i have laundry to put away (this is not tragic. it's just that i could be creating some sanity in my physical environment if i hadn't been doing all kinds of ridiculous distracting stuff for the last few hours).
my head just won't stop with the mean self-judgmental crap.
well, it does sometimes stop.
well, it just hasn't stopped for several hours.
ok. this is funny. writing this post has somehow broken some kind of spell. i hope the break lasts long enough for me to pack up my computer and go home. if i can at least get to sleep at a reasonable hour then tomorrow doesn't have to totally suck.
i'm lonely, i think. well, last time i checked, that wasn't a crime. it doesn't make me weird that i'd like someone to love and to love me back. not too weird to want a family of my own.
mostly, i do ok with this wanting. mostly i cope with this particular kind of lonely. i'm grateful for lots of good things.
well, tomorrow is another darn day.